There are many benefits that you can get out of going to couples counselling with your partner, but it is up to you what you are able to get out of the counselling. The goal of couples counselling is to support the couple in healthy communication and conflict resolution. This can be done by helping the couple identify any shared goals as well as help to mediate the conversation to ensure that if it starts to become hostile or unproductive, the counsellor is able to step in and redirect the conversation back to a place where they can continue to learn. 

Couples may choose to pursue counselling together for a number of reasons, and that reason can also determine the benefits that they may be able to get out of the sessions, such as if they wish to understand more of their partner’s perspective on specific things, or require clarity regarding feelings, maybe they would like to address problems before they develop into potentially relationship altering issues, or simply to grow their love and intimacy even more.

Couples counselling can be a very emotional and vulnerable place, but it is vulnerable for both partners in the couple so it is important to ensure that everyone feels respected and safe in order for any progress to be made. Your counsellor will not be taking sides, but they will want to make sure that both parties are heard and have the opportunity to share their feelings and thoughts. With this in mind, some things that should not be said in marriage counselling include calling your partner names or making them feel unsafe, or to place 100% of the blame on them, you are in counselling together which mean that you both can learn from previous behaviors and both could benefit to grow. As well, avoid mentioning anything regarding divorce or using the phrase “we should get a divorce”, the reason you are at counselling is because you still think that the relationship can be repaired, and if your partner hears you say those words, it can be incredibly difficult to come back from.

The most common type of therapist that offers marriage counselling sessions is a cognitive behavioral therapist. This is because cognitive behavioral therapists offer talk-therapy, which is often what couples are looking for in order to work through any issues or concerns in their relationship. This type of therapist is able to act as a mediator for tough conversations by keeping them productive and on track and ensuring that both parties are being heard. Cognitive behavioral therapy also focuses on how thoughts and feelings influence actions and behavior, making this the most effective option for couples as many of relationship problems boil down to not having the tools to communicate why the individuals are acting a certain way.

It is vital that hope is encouraged and supported in couples counselling, otherwise it can become impossible for the couple to see the other side or to feel motivated to continue putting in the hard work. There is a Hope Focused approach often used by relationship counsellors that supports using positive interventions and works to keeping the couple having an idea of positive outcomes as a means to drive the sessions. Couples counselling can be incredibly difficult and sometimes feel like the progress is not worth the energy, so instilling hope that the couple can work through this difficult time and come out with a stronger relationship than they have ever had before is vital for a lot of couples’ success. For more information, contact us today or book an appointment online. We are conveniently located at 9719 Northeast Parkway, Suite 100 Matthews NC 28105. We serve clients from Matthews NC, Charlotte NC, Mint Hill NC, Indian Trail NC, Pineville NC, and Stallings NC.