Is It Shyness or Social Anxiety Disorder?
It might surprise you to know that 15 million Americans have Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. That’s over 6% of the U.S. population!
Sometimes Social Anxiety Disorder is called social phobia, which means an intense fear of being in social situations. A person with social anxiety thinks that they might do or say something embarrassing, or that they will be humiliated, when they are in front of other people. Often, they focus on every tiny mistake they might make when they are with others, or they replay in their head the social mistakes that they think they have made in the past. They feel like everyone is always judging them.
One extremely common social phobia is having to get up in front of others to speak. In fact, the fear of public speaking is the number 1 fear of people around the world. Death is the 2nd biggest fear people have, so that means people are more afraid of getting up in front of others and speaking than they are of dying!
Social Anxiety Disorder versus Shyness
Many people confuse social anxiety disorder with being shy, but actually the two are quite different. A shy person might feel uncomfortable around other people, and might not speak much in social groups, but the highly intense level anxiety and fear of social phobia isn’t there. And while somebody with social anxiety disorder will go out of their way to avoid being in any type of social situation, a shy person won’t show that same level of avoidance. A person with social anxiety disorder will usually do anything to keep from having to be in a social gathering, even when doing that interferes with their daily life.
Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder
The person will avoid social situations at any cost, no matter what consequence it has for them.
The person knows that they are being irrational, and recognizes that they are being extreme, but they still can’t control their feelings of fear and dread when it comes to social situations.
The person may have panic attacks from just thinking about being in the social situation.
The person feels an over-the-top, continuous fear of social settings where the person will be around unfamiliar people, or might be observed or judged by others.
The person’s everyday life is affected by the social fears, and those fears cause problems for them at school, work, or in their relationships.
Managing Social Anxiety Disorder at Work
If you experience social anxiety disorder and it is affecting your career goals and plans, the following 4 tips can help you manage it :
1) Strive to Be Realistic
Even though you feel anxious and afraid, remind yourself of social situations where you have been successful, such as in gatherings with friends or family, or in past school situations where you had to answer out loud in class. Use that as data to support the idea that you will be fine in the social situations at work, too, and so it would not be realistic to think that you automatically are going to do terribly.
Be sure to notice and mentally file away any time that you succeed in a social situation, so that you can build even more evidence of your social success to remind yourself of in future social settings.
2) Move the Focus from Your Feelings to Your Performance
When you have social anxiety disorder, you’ll often find that you focus on the anxious and upsetting feelings you have whenever you are in a social situation, instead of focusing on the good things that are happening around you. If you shift your focus to the positives, such as how friendly people are being to you, or interesting things they are saying, you will find that the fearful feelings fade as you start forgetting about them because your attention is elsewhere.
If you are in a staff meeting, instead of noticing how hot your face feels or how nervous you are that you might have to speak, actively focus on having good eye contact or being friendly and smiling at your colleagues. You will leave feeling proud of how you socially performed, rather than thinking about how anxious you were.
3) Practice Mindfulness
Research has proven that mindfulness helps people feel calmer, less anxious, and less fearful. A simple way to practice mindfulness at work is to take a few minutes to focus on your breathing. Notice how it feels to take several long, slow breaths in through your nose and to exhale them slowly through your mouth.
There are many great phone apps that have mindfulness activities you can do while at work to help rid yourself of anxiety and stress before you enter a social situation.
4) Get Coping Tools from a Therapist
If you find that your social anxiety has stopped you from doing activities you want to do, or has affected your school, work, or relationships, then it’s time to work with a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders. You will learn tips and strategies for dealing with the anxiety to help you overcome it and feel more comfortable and confident in social situations.
If you, or someone you know, experiences social anxiety and would like to talk about options to address it, please reach out to us at Reaching Resolution to find out how we might be able to help make life feel more comfortable to you.